thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dignity is for republicans.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
