C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
