Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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