what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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