How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
