I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
