fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
