Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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