i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
