id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
