Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I had your ass I would rule the world
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
