whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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