The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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