You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wear drunk well.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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