I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Please, let me fuck your mom
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
