Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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