so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
