He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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