Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
