I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i think my cat just said my name.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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