What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
and you fell through a lawn chair
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
