My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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