My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
