He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found puke in my bra..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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