It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
