I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
