Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
