you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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