I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
