sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize