oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
