Cold hands, warm shart.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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