i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
