After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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