she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
