I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
