This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
