We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
