hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
