She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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