brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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