R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
