both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
