ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
