I bet he comes in French.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
