i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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