i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
