I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
