I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
