She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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