No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
