so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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