I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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