Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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