and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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