That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize