I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
