How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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