somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
