the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I believe in your delicious
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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