oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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