i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
