I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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