so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
