I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
