Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
