apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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