So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
