another moral hangover. fuck.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
