So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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